Its Been a While
Well I know its been a while since I posted anything. Not much fun to come back to visit and find nothing new is it? For that I apologize
Today I have nothing uplifting to talk about. In fact I want to talk about something quite sad. There have been numerous phone calls at my house this last week. A trip to the hospital. A lot of worry and concern and a few tears. A melancholy week and weekend.
A family gathered together last night next to the hospital bed of a loved one. Together they made the difficult decision to remove the respirator that had been sustaining their dear one. In a matter of hours he was gone. His liver had failed causing his ammonia levels to be toxically high in his body. His lungs were not functioning properly. He was incoherent. There was fluid on his brain. They didn't get to speak the last words that they wanted him to hear and know that he had heard them. He is gone and they mourn. He was only 53 years old.
I can very thankfully say this was not my family, it was not my dear one. It was a co-worker of my husband's, well actually a man who he supervised. I never met him personally. I know only about him from what I have been told. But it still makes me feel profoundly sad and profoundly fortunate.
The event has made me think alot. This man was actually frustrating to co-workers because he could not always work his shifts and someone would have to cover for him. It has been going on for several months. No one realized how ill he was, perhaps even he didn't. Almost too late did people realize how serious the situation was, by then it was too late to say all the things they would have liked to say....to do all the things they would have liked to have done.
He was a civil servant, retired military. He leaves behind a wife (married only 10 years) and son and a daughter, two step daughters, four grandchildren that I know of, a younger brother, and his mother. I hope that they are huddling together supporting one another. Sadly sometimes an event such as this can rip a family apart. I suppose we all want someone or something to blame, especially when there is nothing to place the blame on.
My husband is working to ensure that his widow receives all benefits that might help at this time. There will be a military funeral with an honor guard present, although when this will be I am not sure. Surely before this week is done...before Christmas, although she will always be reminded by the holiday even more accutely of her loss. There is no good time to lose a loved one but at holidays and significant dates it becomes even more difficult.
I can not change this situation, truthfully I am not sure that I would want to although I wish there was a way to give them peace and ease the pain. Death does not scare or upset me...it is most difficult for those left behind than for the one who went ahead. He will not suffer anymore, he will not feel the pain or the fear that he was experiencing anymore. But his family will miss him dearly. Hopefully with love and support they will carry on.
I will do whatever I can do. It probably won't be much....a cooked meal so they don't have to worry about food, a clean house if she needs a hand, my open phone and open home if they need support. The situation makes me feel small, wishing that there was more that I could do. If I could I would carry them on my shoulders for a time but it isn't really my place to do so.
I can however learn from this event. It has made me appreciate, at least for the moment, what I have right now. My healthy husband and beautiful children (even though they can be a pain I would be lost without them), my own health, my extended family and all my loved ones. It makes me realize that I should not put off saying how I feel because I might not have a chance again. Tell them now how much they are loved, how much they are appreciated. Live in the moment because all too quickly it might be changed and I might not have a chance again.
I did not mean to depress you with this post. Instead I hope you hear from it not about death but about life. About appreciating what you have, what you can achieve. Doing it now before it is too late and staying focused on what is really important. Do now what you might put off doing for those silly reasons that we put things off, because although it might feel like you have plenty of time you never know....you just never know.
Personally I am off now to hug a loved one or two or three or five....and I am not letting the stress that the holiday season came bring invade me and my house....who knows we many never have a Christmas like this again....and even if we are looking back years from now we won't remember the silly thing that I could be stressing over right now.
I hope this holiday season that you too take the time to say the things that you have been thinking by might not always say....to tell loved ones how you feel and to mend any relationships that need mending.
Peace to you and to yours.
Today I have nothing uplifting to talk about. In fact I want to talk about something quite sad. There have been numerous phone calls at my house this last week. A trip to the hospital. A lot of worry and concern and a few tears. A melancholy week and weekend.
A family gathered together last night next to the hospital bed of a loved one. Together they made the difficult decision to remove the respirator that had been sustaining their dear one. In a matter of hours he was gone. His liver had failed causing his ammonia levels to be toxically high in his body. His lungs were not functioning properly. He was incoherent. There was fluid on his brain. They didn't get to speak the last words that they wanted him to hear and know that he had heard them. He is gone and they mourn. He was only 53 years old.
I can very thankfully say this was not my family, it was not my dear one. It was a co-worker of my husband's, well actually a man who he supervised. I never met him personally. I know only about him from what I have been told. But it still makes me feel profoundly sad and profoundly fortunate.
The event has made me think alot. This man was actually frustrating to co-workers because he could not always work his shifts and someone would have to cover for him. It has been going on for several months. No one realized how ill he was, perhaps even he didn't. Almost too late did people realize how serious the situation was, by then it was too late to say all the things they would have liked to say....to do all the things they would have liked to have done.
He was a civil servant, retired military. He leaves behind a wife (married only 10 years) and son and a daughter, two step daughters, four grandchildren that I know of, a younger brother, and his mother. I hope that they are huddling together supporting one another. Sadly sometimes an event such as this can rip a family apart. I suppose we all want someone or something to blame, especially when there is nothing to place the blame on.
My husband is working to ensure that his widow receives all benefits that might help at this time. There will be a military funeral with an honor guard present, although when this will be I am not sure. Surely before this week is done...before Christmas, although she will always be reminded by the holiday even more accutely of her loss. There is no good time to lose a loved one but at holidays and significant dates it becomes even more difficult.
I can not change this situation, truthfully I am not sure that I would want to although I wish there was a way to give them peace and ease the pain. Death does not scare or upset me...it is most difficult for those left behind than for the one who went ahead. He will not suffer anymore, he will not feel the pain or the fear that he was experiencing anymore. But his family will miss him dearly. Hopefully with love and support they will carry on.
I will do whatever I can do. It probably won't be much....a cooked meal so they don't have to worry about food, a clean house if she needs a hand, my open phone and open home if they need support. The situation makes me feel small, wishing that there was more that I could do. If I could I would carry them on my shoulders for a time but it isn't really my place to do so.
I can however learn from this event. It has made me appreciate, at least for the moment, what I have right now. My healthy husband and beautiful children (even though they can be a pain I would be lost without them), my own health, my extended family and all my loved ones. It makes me realize that I should not put off saying how I feel because I might not have a chance again. Tell them now how much they are loved, how much they are appreciated. Live in the moment because all too quickly it might be changed and I might not have a chance again.
I did not mean to depress you with this post. Instead I hope you hear from it not about death but about life. About appreciating what you have, what you can achieve. Doing it now before it is too late and staying focused on what is really important. Do now what you might put off doing for those silly reasons that we put things off, because although it might feel like you have plenty of time you never know....you just never know.
Personally I am off now to hug a loved one or two or three or five....and I am not letting the stress that the holiday season came bring invade me and my house....who knows we many never have a Christmas like this again....and even if we are looking back years from now we won't remember the silly thing that I could be stressing over right now.
I hope this holiday season that you too take the time to say the things that you have been thinking by might not always say....to tell loved ones how you feel and to mend any relationships that need mending.
Peace to you and to yours.
posted by Erika at
2:06 PM
1 Comments:
I think you said it beutifully about not forgetting the truly important things in life, at any time of the year.
I sympathize with the family and their loss. They face a hard road ahead, but perhaps they will find comfort in knowing at least their loved one is no longer suffering.
It is easy to get caught up in the daily grind and completely forget to look beneath the surface, we take the daily irritations to heart, but often fail to look at the source, but take the easier route and react to the reaction, not the root.
All we can do is be there for those who need us, in any way possible. Our instincts will lead the way.
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Sand in her shoes, at 3:23 PM
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