Inconsistency - the quality of being inconsistent and lacking a harmonious uniformity among things or parts

I think I just might be one of the most inconsistent people that I know. The odd thing is that I am particularly inconsistent in things relating to myself. In those things that I do for others I am almost as predictable as the clock chiming the hour.

Yes from that statement it should be easy to tell that I am not succeeding well in working through the book The Artist's Way. Or maybe you could just look at it like this...for me it will be a 12 month journey instead of 12 weeks. Yes that is how I prefer to look at it! I have not given up my effort, I just am not progressing as rapidly as I would like. I am still looking for the courage to paint...if you have any extra might I borrow it?

I also am not improving on my eating habits and exercise like I had vowed to do. Such as right now....it is so terribly cold and miserable outside 45f/7.2c which supposedly feels like 37f/2.7c considering the factors (although for some odd reason my thermometer says it is 71.6f/22c outside...I guess it has finally given up the ghost and I need to buy a new one). So regardless of my resolution, I put on a new pot of coffee and am now sitting here feeling somewhat brain dead, drinking a fresh cup of coffee with peppermint mocha creme in it (is it only us Americans who have to try and make both coffee and tea exotic?....so many favors, so many possibilities to add in....so little time!) and to make matters worse I hear the jar of biscotti on the counter calling to me....I will resist! I WILL resist!! (that bit of dark chocolate isn't at all the same as that biscotti, right? Right??!!!)

This weather also puts a damper on my enthusiasm for exercise. I want nothing more than to just curl up in that big comfy chair in the living room, pull a blanket around me and doze off. Forget going for a walk, it is too bone chilling cold and wet out! Forget doing pilates, I am too cold to be flexible so the same goes for doing yoga. Sleep....sleep...sleep....it sounds like the absolute best plan that I have had all day! Perhaps it is not my inconsistency that has lead to my laziness today....I will blame my lack of sleep last night for it today! A body should not be up wandering the house at 3:00 am when the alarm will sound at 6:15!

The good news is that if you expect me to be somewhere at 8:00 I will be there. If you were expecting a report from me, you received it. If you need a warm meal or something to drink, I have it. And if required, you have been taken to school and picked up again...right as rain, as dependable as the post office used to claim to be! (This brings us to an entirely different noun - predictability, which I know also leads me to another noun - familarity which in turn leads to yet another.....now if I switch these nouns to adjectives I begin to see a pattern here....I don't think I like this pattern very much, no not much at all. (predictable, familar, convenient....I see resentment at the end of this pattern.) How is it that what I thought should be a good character trait can come to such bad?

Of course I probably look as worn out as I feel while doing it....but for all my inconsistency I am not giving up yet!! Even when I say "I give up!" it isn't really true. You can't make me, no matter how hard you try.