ARGGHH!!!!

So yesterday evening I tried to post something. Blogger really needs to warn me better if they are going to go down for maintainence! I lost the post but it didn't really matter....it still had me thinking.

So I went for a walk after losing that post. And then I watched Lost (not sure why I like that show....I didn't watch the first season until mom bought the dvd). After that I went to bed and laid there writing in my journal. I finally wrote the truth that has been haunting me for the last couple of months. I am unhappy. I am responsible for that. So I spent a couple of pages talking to myself about it and about what would change this feeling. Today I am working on it. Maybe I will post part of it here as public record (lol). Sometimes having others know what I am planning to do keeps me to my plans.

I like to collect quotes and saying, even just words that strike me. I found a couple yesterday.

"I'm looking in on the good life I might be doomed to never find. Without a trust or flaming fields am I too dumb to be refine?"

She stood in front of me, her tough subway face on, dark hair and low cut jeans, and behind my sunglasses I was distracted and decided to photograph her with my eyes. She wasn't young anymore, but not old, either. Her body wasn't perky anymore, but not saggy, either.

Like I said, she wasn't young, and her body had the comfortable shape of something that's been used as it's intended, but still has so much life left yet. A worn glove, a fading t-shirt, ragged jeans, all these things are similar, but all sound too bad for my intent. Imagine all those things as yours, and you made them that way, and they make you feel happy just seeing them, and that's what her body was like.